That's what I keep thinking. It's this tape that plays in my head on the "incessant" setting. Have you ever had sobs well up in your throat? That has been me since last night, when I was struck with panic and anxiety for no reason (well, some reason--I haven't heard from J. in over a week and that always makes me panicky, because it means he's traveling - a dangerous activity these days).
Iraq had a bad day today. That was how one journalist described the bloodshed and mayhem in Iraq over the last 24 hours. They're talking about being on the verge of civil war. And I'm walking a treadmill at the Y, picking up a coffee at Starbucks, and trolling the aisles at Walmart for things I can send to J. Sometimes it feels surreal that my contribution to J.'s effort is sending travel-size toothpaste and a deck of cards. I feel useless and disconnected and I want to know where J. is.