Why can't I do anything right the
first forty-fifth time? I wanted to make a pair of valentine-themed mary janes. I've made a few pair already; this should have been simple enough. But it wasn't. First try: too tube-like. Second try: way too big. Two more tries later - a perfectly-shaped and sized mary jane! Only one problem: repeating this for a second shoe. I couldn't get a single pattern to turn out the same way twice. Finally, I got it. And I'm happy with how sweetly "valentine" they turnedout. I think the trick is to make the entire shoe a few rows shorter so that her little feet can stretch it to the perfect shape for her feet. If I ever get this pattern right, I'll post it. But don't hold your breath.
Anyway, after all this feverish crocheting to feed the anxiety that this would never come out as I envisioned, I looked up and realized I hadn't really been available for E. What a shame. She has all these pretty little things, but what she really wants is me.
This happens too often, I think. People ask me where I find the time for all this crafting. I don't have a special trick. When J. was deployed, I stayed up until 2 a.m. Now, I steal the time - from my house, which needs cleaning, and from my husband, who "just wants a hug and kiss" when he comes home, and from my little girl, who has taken to grabbing my face in her hands so she can show me her picture/book/dance. Its tough to juggle, I think, even when you're a stay-at-home mom. Time for others, time for yourself - how much is too much in any one direction? I don't feel sorry for myself. My husband is home, we can make ends meet with one income, and I have a very healthy little girl. I have an ideal situation. I just need to do better. After all, it only lasts so long.
I put her down for a nap a while ago. She's still singing to herself. I think I'll skip the nap and ask her if she wants to dance.