and then it went like this, Wells Family

I was very nervous.  That week I happened to flip to an article that talked about overcoming fear and taking more risks.  Which seemed like a nod from God that I should keep going.  Even if I fell flat on my face in front of said supportive friends and wanted to chuck my camera and the insured expensive lens out the window. {Pause here: if I were truly courageous, I would have told you about these shoots at the time I planned them, knowing I might totally suck and fall flat on my face in front of all of you, too.  But let's overcome fear in "baby steps," shall we?}

Last week the lens came.  I did my homework, scouting out locations in my area with my sweet little girls in the backseat munching on whatever fast food and toys I'd toss back there while I burned a bunch of gas driving all over God's green earth making notes of the light, how many options there were for creativity, etc.  I also browsed the web for creative inspiration.  And came up  with several ideas of my own.  Ideas I was just sure would be corny.  You know, because they were mine. (are you relating with me yet?)

Then came the day of my shoot.  It was for my friend Melissa & her family, who is one of those friends who pours compliments all over you just when you need it.  She indulged me in my ideas, including some woods and a railroad track - and then this dirty grimy spot with (it turned out once we arrived, much to my horror as a would-be professional) dead birds.  Brick wall?  Check.  Rusted aluminum door?  Check.  Dead birds and wasps and onlookers from across the street eyeing you like they're about to call the cops?  Check.  I laughed it all off and we had a great time.   

When the kids started to melt down a little I knew to call it a day, but not before strapping them into the car with a dvd and getting a few shots of mom and dad:  

I got home and crossed my fingers, almost passing out from holding my breath with worry that everything was going to be crap.  I eyed one that I wanted to edit immediately and tweaked it in PS.  Phew!  It wasn't crap.

I know Melissa checks on her Blackberry like its one of the kids so I sent her a picture and she called right away to say how happy she was.

Of course I was stoked that I didn't mess up this shoot.  In fact, I was rather proud of it.  But as I went to bed excited about the next day (an anniversary shoot with my friends Wes and Amy), I started to think.  Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while.  How was I going to repeat this the next day?

Comments

[MCH]

Your posts are with insecurity, just like I am with myself in too many aspects. Very recognizable. I know this needs to change from within, but comments/positive feedback do help and there fore: I love your first shoot. You would NEVER think this is your first shoot. You take this very seriously and it turns out GREAT. I love the way you took the kids, great location, great composition. Keep going!

[Chris]

Good for you! You have found your gift (one I many you have, I suspect) and you are running with it. I am reading "Experiencing God" and I just dug through to find this quote that came to mind when I read your story: "The affirmation comes after the obedience."

Keep it up!

[Susan]

Very nice pictures! Too bad you don't live closer, I have four kiddos you could practice on!

[Tanya]

The pictures are beautiful!! You did a great job.

[Heather]

You did it! These pictures look so professional. I love the backdrops for every single one of them! I think you have discovered your gift/talent. I have been reading your blog for awhile now and I just had to take the time to comment today.
I am so inspired that I want to go get the big fancy camera I have had my eye on and dive in.
Great job!!

Heather:)

[Stacie]

Crystal, they're beautiful!! Please keep it up & I second the be kind to yourself. You're doing great. Quite amazing, actually!

[Amber]

They are fantastic...You are doing great!!

[Christine]

Those are awesome pictures! I know it's hard sometimes to see it yourself when it's your craft but they are wonderful. The lighting, the angles, and colors are beautiful. :)

[vanessa]

Your last line cracked me up.
When I first started I messed up and tried again. I made mistakes in editing and learned from that too. I figures out along the way what and how I needed to do things. You'll get there..and only by trying.
Can't wait to see you grow.

[Nicole from Long Island]

These look amazing! Please keep going and be a little easier on yourself, you have something!

[Lisa Martin]

wow, hard on yourself much! lol. Those are great and I cannot wait to keep reading.

[Mim O]

I totally hear you! I'm just starting out too, and it really is so nerve-wracking. You did great though :)

[Lacey]

Look at you my friend! Good job! What kind of lens did you get?