Just a Tote Bag?

Since I've just started blogging, it wouldn't be obvious but I have almost literally been crafting away the anxiety over my husband, J.'s, deployment.  I stay pretty busy, but I feel like the time spent without him has gone so s-l-o-w-l-y.  In an attempt to count down the time a little more quickly and keep my anxiety at bay, I find myself at the fabric store FREQUENTLY.  It's my alternative to Xanax.  His last assignment in Iraq started before the beginning of the war, as a platoon leader for a chemical platoon attached to the 3rd Infantry Division (the Army division that "invaded" Iraq).  I didn't hear from him or from our rear detachment for weeks at a time and it was agonizing.  I developed an anxiety disorder that was debilitating and embarrassing at times.  I basically didn't stop crying until he came home.  Thankfully, the deployment was brief by Army standards, and he was home shortly after the official war was declared over.  We moved on with our lives as a married couple again.  It was a blissful pause in what has become a rather hectic period in the Army.  And now he's deployed.  Again.  His third in our 4 1/2 years of marriage - not really so unusual for an Army family these days.

I can't afford to lose myself in anxiety again.  And so I sew.  And clean, and organize, and join playgroups, and teach my toddler, E., how to shop for shoes.

This week I made a tote bag.  Yeah, it's just a tote bag.  But it bought me a couple days of sanity.  And I'm a couple days closer to seeing my husband again.

Comments

[Cathryn]

I love your blog and I feel your pain. My fiance is a marine and we are always apart! I am currently a photo student working on my senior thesis. I will be focusing on what military girlfiends, fiances, and wives go though when our man is gone. I want to say this useing images. I love your pictues, and the way you see things. Your main picture is amazing and I want to use it can you email me back. I hope to hear from you soon.