My Longest Year

Ashlyn's First Trip to the ER

We knew it would come some day.  I've joked about it for a couple of years now.  Thankfully, it didn't turn out to be a big deal.  She fell and her teeth made a huge gash in her bottom lip -I had no clue how bad it was or if it would require stitches...so off to the ER we went.

I had Evyn's camera in my purse from an earlier project today.  So you KNOW I totally whipped it out at a stop light, right? If you were a Facebook friend, you'd remember last year's EKG. But I digress...back to the bloody mess at hand.

Poor James.  I called him at work - at the time I couldn't even figure out where the gush of blood was coming from.  So he panicked a little and met me at the ER.

After the nurses cleaned her up we found a second boo-boo--this one on her chin.

Of course the final verdict was - no stitches.  Just go home.  And wait for the bill.

But not before stopping for the most expensive popsicle this year.

Yes, people were looking at me weird.  Who takes a dozen pictures of her kid at the emergency room?  Are you kidding?  As long as she's probably fine - AND sitting so pitifully in a wheelchair - ME:

a rite of passage...

If you've been hanging out this blog for a bamillion years then you know Ev used to be a pretty good shopper.  But things change.  And she's taken to complaining about it.

Several years ago I started joining in the HubBub that is Black Friday.  There's just something about waking up while it's still dark, parking three miles from the store, and shopping in a groggy frenzy with five hundred people.  It's like Christmas Kickoff.  Way back then I had visions of my little girl joining me for Black Friday.  So when she started changing her tune about shopping in general I just assumed she wouldn't be my Black Friday Wing Man.

Somehow, though, James managed to get her excited about the idea.  And this was our year.

 
Last night she laid out an outfit she put together just for our shopping trip, went to bed dutifully and made sure to fall asleep quickly in preparation for our big day.  We woke up at 4:00 a.m. to make the 1-hour pilgrimage to Raleigh, got dressed in the dark, grabbed a sandwich and snuck out of the house.  Evyn was particularly enchanted with the fact that it was still dark, and would be for a while.

We started at Target.  And stopped for a caffeine break.  E got the usual "pink drink" (milk with three shots of raspberry syrup.

Honestly, Target was a bit of a bust.  Bright and friendly as usual.  But nothing special.  Evyn suggested the mall across the street.  That's where I hit some serious sales (skinny jeans at the Gap for $15!).  Totally should have gotten pictures of the pile-o-goods, but I'm kind of glad I didn't.  Sidenote: We did take the opportunity to also pick up a few things for charity but I wish we'd done more.  In fact, the thought occurred to me that next year we should try to put a Christmas together for a family using Black Friday deals.  (I saw a similar idea using coupon-ing in December to help stock a food pantry in a magazine). 

After several HOURS, we stopped for coffee break #2.  This is Ev with another "pink drink" and a little prize she picked for being incredibly easy to shop with. (Have you ever been to "Justice"?  That place is a land mine for mothers of 6 year olds.)

I asked her if she would join me again next year.  She said she'd "have to think about it."

Maybe she just needs to sleep on it...

By the way...one small detail that I noticed is lost in this post is how incredibly grateful I am that my husband was intuitive enough to know how important this actually was to me, even though I played it off when I realized Evyn might not want to go.  "Time together" is my love-language and I have been anticipating my first Black Friday with one of my girls for a long time.  So I'm incredibly thankful that James found a way to get Evyn excited about it enough to go.  Now, if she doesn't join me next year it will be because I took a bit too long at the Gap...

the final days of summer...

I know.  It's September.  The final days of summer were weeks ago for most.  This blog has been on the bottom of a very long list that includes three small children, a household, photography, client galleries, etc...but I miss it.  I miss all of my dear readers.  I am going to resolve to post a bit more.

I took this picture after waking up one morning, panicked by the sudden realization that my oldest daughter was about to start Kindergarten  - and I had spent most of the summer at my computer instead of with her, much less contemplating these final days before "real" school.  I cried a little, forced to digest that time really does move forward whether we're ready or not.  And regretting that I hadn't used more of it to be more present with my girls.

I decided to shut down my work and computer for a few hours that afternoon, and decided to work on a small project with Evyn.

More than a year ago, Evyn started talking down to herself.  She seemed sincerely hard on herself.  So I turned to a promise in scripture, and wrote it out for her on a slip of paper, repeating it for her when I thought she needed to hear it.  Some time ago I ran across the paper, and decided to use it in our project:

Evyn was excited to finally use the fabric markers that had been lingering out of reach in the top basket of our "craft tower," and when she was done you could barely see the words buried in rainbows and hearts and swirls (which is why I snapped this picture midway).

A few tries with a mallet and snaps later, we had this quasi-80's accessory:

If you buy a pair of very expensive jeans, do not attempt to color your hair in them several hours after purchase.  Because they will wind up being a very expensive craft project.

Peace for M.

If you have kids you might already recognize the scene: Ash with a Strawberry Shortcake boo-boo ice pack, bought in such a hurry it still has the plastic tag on it.

Yesterday I was at Target, with all three munchkins.  And the two oldest ones were carrying on in the store as usual.  Flitting and dancing and twirling about without a thought or care to how far they'd gotten from me or how inconvenient they were making it for everyone else to get around them.  I love that they have imaginative spirits, and that they dance to some music that only exists between them.  But I get totally annoyed - I can't keep track of them, and they need to learn a little self-control.  It's Target, not our back yard.

So when I finally laid down the law and insisted that they return to the cart and stay out of the middle of the aisle, and they came running back to me, I should have anticipated it.  Three feet before she got to the cart, Ash tripped and fell. Right on the slim, shiny bar at the bottom shelf of the cart -a hard metal whack that fit perfectly in the crook of her nose between her eyes.

This picture doesn't do the damage justice.  She screamed and cried and within seconds the space between her eyes was swollen and bruising.  We ran to the pharmacy for aspirin and an ice pack, and she sat in the cart bravely. 

I started panicking.  What if there was some weird detrimental vein in that spot?  Here I was nonchalantly shopping for school supplies and maybe she was about to pass out, or had a brain trauma, or some crazy thing that I was now cursing all those urban legends for putting in my mind.  I had nausea from the anxiety.  I called my friend with the accident-prone child.  She said I should call the doctor.  Now my heart was a little bit quick.  I called my friend and pediatrician.  And as it turns out, God does care about the small things.  Doctor Lisa was in the store.  So a few minutes later, there we were.  An office visit in the baby aisle at Target.

She's fine.  Probably.  We'll know after an official visit in the morning.  But that's not the point of this story.  In fact, I'm not sure there is a point.

Because several hours later, I received word that a childhood friend of mine was watching her daughter die in gut-wrenching, horrific pain from an accidental overdose of medicine used to treat her cancer.   

I tried to convey it to James between sobs.  Ten times the proper dose.  Fried her kidneys.  She's in excruciating pain.  Her mother is watching this.  Can you fathom it, James?  We have to pray for their peace.

From her journal yesterday: "Sweet Lord have mercy on us."

And this morning: "Makiah's spirit left her body this morning." 

She was five.

I panicked at a bruise.

What never-ending ache must these parents be feeling?

I don't have a sweet close to this post.  Just this: I believe in empathy.  I believe it's necessary sometimes to try to imagine someone else's pain.  Not just to remind you to appreciate life or hug your kids tighter.  In fact, I'd go so far as to say - if all you get out of someone else's hurt is a reminder to love your own life/family/blessings, you are missing out on some of what God would have for you.  Not to torture yourself.  But to be an intercessor.  Honestly, I don't even know everything that really means or entails but I know it's part of God's calling for us.  And it starts with empathy.

To weep with the hurting.  To bear some of their pain with them.  For our daily prayers to be only for someone else sometimes, that they might be blessed - whatever that looks like - be it relief from debt, joy in their day, or strength and peace for their dying daughter.  

You don't know little M.  I've never met little M.  But I'm weeping in grief and prayer for all that lies ahead of them...and God would love to hear our prayers for them tonight.

"because I have three"

That's what I want to get put on a t-shirt or tattoo on my forehead.  It would explain away so much...like why my hair looks like this. Or why there are about 13 coffee cups in my minivan right now.  Or why I am showing up a good 15 minutes later than usual (which is already 15 minutes late) to my daughter's preschool.  Or why I showed up to Ashlyn's Mother's Morning Out with a plastic Walmart bag in lieu of a "real" diaper bag (we have several of them - where ARE they when you're heading out the door, though?).  Or why my house looked like this yesterday (yes, these are all from the same day):

 

I have several friends who are currently pregnant with #3.  And I want to invite them to my house for a sort of "walk-through" - you know, like the schools do for little preschoolers who are about to enter Kindergarten.  A sort of "here's what you can expect" open house for would-be moms of three children.  I want them to come over and watch me feed the baby with one hand while prying a medicine bottle out of the two-year old's hands with my other hand while talking to Customer Service at the electric company while gesturing at the five year old with my head to please get me a diaper.  I mean, if a trip to Walmart isn't birth control enough, a trip to my house is a close second.

I am actually really enjoying my three.  Honestly.  I can tell I'm really going to love it.  It's just kinda noisy and hectic and messy. 

And beautiful.

friday find: audible.com & audiblekids.com

I'm not a reading expert, but I was fortunate to work with some of the best in the field during my time as an Educational Services manager for a public television station.  I can't say enough about PBS - the institution that spurred intentional parenting when it came to media as an educational resource.  I was lucky to get to attend a number of workshops presented by the likes of Ruby Payne, Jim Trelease, and LeVar Burton - long before I was ever a parent myself.

I don't remember everything I was taught, but a number of key ideas have stuck with me and I try to be mindful of them in setting up my kids for success. 

I, myself, have always been an avid reader.  I was a child that could focus on one activity for a long time even as a toddler.  I liked time to myself, I had an active imagination, and I loved to get lost in my own thoughts.  I read early and often - because I wanted to.  Evyn is much the same way; she has always sat still for a good book or three, and even though she can't read just yet, she loves to go to the bookstore and dig into a stack of books, gazing at the pictures and imagining the stories that go with them.  Ashlyn.  Is a different story.  She likes the idea of a book, and she will often ask me to read to her.  But by the second page she's wiggling out of my lap and off to another room, ready for the next activity.  It is really, really important that children be involved in reading early and often.  So what can a mom with a toddler like Ashlyn do?  Give up until they're older?  NO!

When I was little I remember taking naps after church with my little sister Lora.  I fondly recall the Story of the Little Tree scratched out on our record player, lulling me to sleep.  I loved that story.   

We've repeated the tradition in our house with audiobooks.  I originally started with the kind of audiobooks that Evyn could "read" along to - the kind with the prompts for page-turning.  Those were particularly awesome for the car, and they're not too expensive.  It was a nice option because she wanted so desperately to read but just wasn't there yet.  Then I noticed that she took a long time to wind down at the end of the night and was talking to herself for up to an hour before she fell asleep.  For a while we played the Little Kid's Audio Adventure Bible from ZonderKids - and she loved it.  After a couple of weeks of the series, we decided to freshen up the rotation a bit.  Enter this awesomely-awesome series from Focus on the  Family Radio Theatre - Classic Stories for a Girl's Heart:

The music, acting, and sound effects are incredible - truly closer to radio theatre than a narration of a book.  Which is what makes the series easier for Evyn to comprehend and pay attention to.  She usually listens to them as she falls asleep, but occasionally we will do "quiet time" with these (an alternative to a nap), or she'll color or do her art with the stories in the background.

I had a hard time finding something more brief and animated for Ashlyn, until this week, when I discovered Audible and Audiblekids.com (from Amazon).

For anywhere from .99 cents to $20+ you can download a range of stories, organized by age, genre, or popularity.  I downloaded Mouse Tales, the Cat and the Hat series, and Skippyjon Jones.  Ashlyn listens to them before bed and during bath time with Evyn, and we plan to bring them along on our trip to the beach next week.  Basically, any time the kids are "trapped" is another great opportunity for an audio reading. 

Another "car option" - especially if you want to be able to accommodate short attention spans by way of the dvd player - are the Scholastic dvd sets that you can buy (cheap) at TJ Maxx.  I bought this one for six bucks for our Nashville trip.  Besides the familiar content and visual format, these also feature the words on screen so would-be readers get the benefit of understanding words have meaning.

So here's the bottom line, and it's an important one:  literacy is a series of skills that children must master in stages.  And research proves: the earlier you start, the better. Reading aloud to your kids is one important step, but there are a number of ways to help the process along - and a huge number of resources to get you started. 

I'm probably preaching to the choir here, in which case you also have some favorite resources - I'd love to hear what they are!

PS: I should mention that an obvious first place to look is your library.  If you're lucky you live in a town with a library that keeps books on CD and not just tapes (TAPES!).  I do not.  At least not as of a year ago, which was the last time I looked.  I should probably check back.

take advantage of an MLK, jr. Day playdate

So despite our family's politics, I recognize that these next couple of days are significant, and provide a number of "teachable moments" for Evyn.  Moments I want to be prepared to take advantage of.  My friend Amy is bringing her daughter, K, over for a playdate today.  This inauguration has special significance to them (Amy's husband is half black - specifically, Jamaican) and K will be watching the events on TV, so I thought we might take a moment to explain the inauguration and the significance of this election, in as simple a way possible.  I thought I'd share the resources I found and a brainstorm of ways to apply them.  Most lesson plans and activities are geared toward children older than Evyn and K, but there are a number of ways to simplify any lesson by taking the basic lesson objective and using it to start a discussion and simple activity.

And since I don't have a photo today, you get to sift through my obnoxious font parade.

Explain the Inauguration:

• use this cheat sheet of facts and activities from Scholastic Parents
• try a page from this guide at TeachableMoment.org - Inauguration Guide
• use the Parents Guide from the Philadelphia School District site    
• or use the NYC Dept of Education Inauguration 2009 Curriculum as a resource
• Activity Idea: Help your child make an Inauguration pennant - either imagining their own ("if you were president, what would your pennant look like?") or celebrating Obama, using pictures from magazines

Talk about the move Obama's daughters, Malia and Sasha, will be making to their new house - the White House: 

• Imagine what life would be like in the White House - you can even show them pictures of the palatial rooms. 
• Make your own using craft sticks.
• You could also share these stories from previous children's time in the White House.

Talk about equality, respect, and individuality:

• Talk about differences and make note of some of the physical differences between family members.  Define "unique" and note what makes each other unique. (Evyn has a LOT of fun comparing the physical differences between us).
• Read Galations 3:28 and remind your children that "...you are all one in Christ Jesus."
• Try this "Same on the Inside" activity for preschoolers
• or this version of "Simon Says"
• or make an "All About Me" collage or mini-scrapbook or puppet (Evyn is really into paper bag puppets right now)
• try an activity from this God Made Me lesson plan

Talk about Martin Luther King, and relate it to the history Obama will make on Tuesday:

• Color and put together this Mini-Book from Scholastic.com outlining MLK's dream

• Talk about dreams and hopes using this simple lesson plan & activity sheet (also from Scholastic.com); display your child's dream sheet proudly on her door

Finally, explain what it means to be President, and use family prayer time to Pray for Obama and his family.
Pray for rulers and for all who have authority so that we can have quiet and peaceful lives full of worship and respect for God. (1 Timothy 2:2)

Other reads: A Most Gracious Loser and Win for Equality