My Longest Year

an open letter to my dear food-photog Andrea:

Dear Andrea,

Several times a week my Facebook page is graced with your annoyingly beautiful photos of food.  I get it.  You're a great baker, a great cook, and an awesome photog.   Which means I get to eye all your pears and cherries and scones on teal saucers with envy - wishing I had the motivation or skills to whip up something as beautiful to look at as it must be to eat.  

Well, Andrea, today's the day.  

Feast your eyes on my Red Dye #5 cakey Zingers:

That's right, Andrea.  You may have sparkly photos of home made ice cream made from cows you milked at a recent trip to a farm...apples you plucked from an orchard...and fresh baked breads and desserts made from stone ground flour...but do you have a photo that captures your recent stop at the L&L with a macro shot of the salted goodness that is crunchy corn nuts?

Or better yet...do you have beer bokeh?

Anything you can do, I can do...sorta.

Love,

Crystal

you're prettier than you think

So, as a photographer, one of the most important things to me, when taking someone's picture, is to capture the person genuinely, and beautifully.  But it's hard.  Because people are so self-conscious. About their scratches and scars and ears.  And it's just plain difficult to relax sometimes.  I get it.  I'm one of those, too.  I have a disproportionate nose, skinny arms, two eyes that are completely different shapes, and an on-again-off-again double chin (depending on my trimester in pregnancy, or the number of months following).  

You'll remember I went to Nashville a while ago.  I stayed with my best friend's parents - a dear couple I lived with for over two years in college.  I sat down for breakfast with Jim, chit-chatted a bit, and brought out my new camera (oh, yeah, I got a new camera).  He's a bit of a photographer himself so I let him play.

Now, mind you, I'd had little sleep and no shower, and for some reason I'm going through some adult acne phase.  So the pictures were terrible, right?  Yes.  And no.

Well, yes, because I basically look terrible and greasy grody.  But in the end, no.  When Jim flipped through the pictures his eyes lit up and he was absolutely tickled.  "Ah, these are cute!" (Jim, a bigshot VP at a Fortune 10 Company almost squealed).  And I can see why.

For one, I was careful to take my own advice and relax as he snapped away.  And for another, I was careful to not pick myself apart.  These pictures are me.  Really me.  There are zits here.  And a straying bra strap.  And hair that needs serious help.  But  these are genuine expressions and it shines through.  And Jim, who loves me and has known me since I was seventeen, looked at these pictures and saw the beautiful me he knows.  No, he didn't say all that.  But I recognized a familiar mix of pride and delight as he scrolled through the images he'd taken.

I am all-too familiar with people picking apart a beautiful photo of themselves because there is some phantom acne, or squishy part, or one ear is more red than the other.  In some cases, folks start the picking apart ritual before they've even been photographed. 

Do yourself and the photographer a favor: stop it.  You look great. 

And when you do get a chance to shower, and put on a decent shirt, and then choose to RELAX and get over whatever injustice you think you've been physically dealt, you get some really great photos:

[Photos set up and edited by me, but taken by my dear friend Melissa Wells, who did a great job]

I am not photogenic, and I was careful to not edit any of the photos in this post too much.  Only slight contrast was added for color.  And if you pick them apart you can see wrinkles and veins and stray hair.  Whatever.  Who cares?  I didn't. 

You shouldn't either.

going somewhere?

Last year it was dressers.  This year its chairs and suitcases.

If you saw the growing collection of both in my garage, you'd think I either planned to do a lot of sitting or a lot of going.

You remember MAD's suitcase?  I didn't stop there.  When I spied the mustard American Tourister in a dark corner under a shelf at our dumpy Salvation Army I snatched it up.

Then I saw this strawberry Carousel suitcase and couldn't believe it.  I mean who gives up a suitcase that color?  There was a matching train case perched on the shelf above it that I probably should have picked up but I didn't. 

I'm hoping to use these in a session sometime.  At prices like these I just couldn't pass it up.

 

the next day, anniversary shoot: wes and amy

Well, the next day was a good one.  One of the most fun I have had in a long time, for lots of reasons.  I started the morning assisting Rachel on a shoot.  I love long drives, coffee, farms, and photography.  That was our whole morning.  Then I showed her a few of my new favorite locations in my area and we took some test shots.  And made fun of ourselves with some goofy poses.  Say, CHEESE, Rachel!

Then we went to lunch and I went home to rest before Wes and Amy's shoot.  Only I couldn't really rest.  So I went to Walmart.  I'd learned a few things from the day before, and I had a few last-minute ideas I wanted to try.  I picked up a small broom, hand sanitizer, champagne flutes, and water.

When I met up with Wes and Amy, they hopped in the car and here was my process: to drive around downtown until I spotted a place among the many I'd scouted that had good light.  If it's possible, I think it's better to go where the light is.  You'll get better pictures than trying to make the light come to your favorite spot.  We did four locations total.

I'll make a long afternoon/evening short:  we had a blast.  My homework paid off.  The clothes I helped Amy pick the week before paid off.  And even the wine paid off (Wes needed to relax a little).

 
 

 

I owe a lot of thanks to my sweet friends who have and continue to indulge me in my ideas.  I appreciate so much that they've taken me seriously and have been supportive.  I learned a ton from these shoots. 

But if there was a big lesson to learn, at least for me, it's that in order to be rewarded you really do have to make yourself vulnerable sometimes.  Or, as Chris commented in the previous post, quoting Experiencing God: "The affirmation comes after the obedience."

It pays to have a little faith.  And believe in yourself at least as much as everyone else believes in you.

So that was my Big Weekend.  Thanks for listening.  If you're on the brink of jumping into something, you really should just go for it.  Not doing something is just as much a decision as going through with it, whatever IT is.  And, honestly, I'm not really sure where I'll go from here.  But for now I'm enjoying the process of figuring that all out.

By the way, this blog will continue to be the good and the bad.  Some of my favorite, sweet pictures of my kids or surroundings aren't the best artistically or technically, but they ARE moments I want to keep and admire nonetheless. Plus, I can't justify buying my now Dream Lens: 50 mm 1.2.  So expect to see as many from-the-hip pictures as you always have. 

Bye for now!

and then it went like this, Wells Family

I was very nervous.  That week I happened to flip to an article that talked about overcoming fear and taking more risks.  Which seemed like a nod from God that I should keep going.  Even if I fell flat on my face in front of said supportive friends and wanted to chuck my camera and the insured expensive lens out the window. {Pause here: if I were truly courageous, I would have told you about these shoots at the time I planned them, knowing I might totally suck and fall flat on my face in front of all of you, too.  But let's overcome fear in "baby steps," shall we?}

Last week the lens came.  I did my homework, scouting out locations in my area with my sweet little girls in the backseat munching on whatever fast food and toys I'd toss back there while I burned a bunch of gas driving all over God's green earth making notes of the light, how many options there were for creativity, etc.  I also browsed the web for creative inspiration.  And came up  with several ideas of my own.  Ideas I was just sure would be corny.  You know, because they were mine. (are you relating with me yet?)

Then came the day of my shoot.  It was for my friend Melissa & her family, who is one of those friends who pours compliments all over you just when you need it.  She indulged me in my ideas, including some woods and a railroad track - and then this dirty grimy spot with (it turned out once we arrived, much to my horror as a would-be professional) dead birds.  Brick wall?  Check.  Rusted aluminum door?  Check.  Dead birds and wasps and onlookers from across the street eyeing you like they're about to call the cops?  Check.  I laughed it all off and we had a great time.   

When the kids started to melt down a little I knew to call it a day, but not before strapping them into the car with a dvd and getting a few shots of mom and dad:  

I got home and crossed my fingers, almost passing out from holding my breath with worry that everything was going to be crap.  I eyed one that I wanted to edit immediately and tweaked it in PS.  Phew!  It wasn't crap.

I know Melissa checks on her Blackberry like its one of the kids so I sent her a picture and she called right away to say how happy she was.

Of course I was stoked that I didn't mess up this shoot.  In fact, I was rather proud of it.  But as I went to bed excited about the next day (an anniversary shoot with my friends Wes and Amy), I started to think.  Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while.  How was I going to repeat this the next day?

and then it went like this, part 1

Well, NOW where to start?  I have so many things to share with you.  Thoughts you could appreciate and relate to, I'm sure. 

But for now, I'll make it cut and dry:  my journey up to this point.  I think it's incredibly helpful to other would-be photographers out there to know that, for some, the journey really does all start rather "hoopty" - that is, some folks just stumble and fumble until they get it right.

1. I have long been wanting to improve my photography skills.  But if you recall, there wasn't a class or place I could get real (and good) information.  So I checked out books and the web.  But I still felt a little hampered.  I am a person who needs another person to bounce thoughts of.  Andrea was happy to oblige me when she could.  But let's face it - the girl is BUSY with her three.
2. Enter Rachel.  When I found out there was another shutterbug - and one who had just opened her own photography business a few months previously - in my SUNDAY SCHOOL CLASS, I crossed my fingers and hoped upon hope that she'd be up for a camera-buddy.
3. I bought the newest Photoshop and we met for coffee a few times and she showed me a few of her tricks...it was enough for me to figure out how to get somewhere.  Which makes all the difference when trying to decipher all the Photoshop Spanish out there.
4. My neighbor asked me to shoot her daughter's first birthday party.  She took a chance on me (well, she'd had a beer when she'd asked so maybe she didn't know any better) and I'm grateful.  The shots were entirely indoors, on an overcast day, and I was crammed among lots of people - but I was up for the challenge.  I know VERY LITTLE about using my flash but I worked it out and learned a lot from that shoot.  It helped that Rachel let me borrow her (very expensive) zoom lens. If you're going to be doing event photography of any kind, you need a zoom lens.  I also got a lot of practice with PS and even found a great way to use all those macro pics: 
5. Then Rachel let me join her on a baby shoot.  I wanted to see if the process was what I was thinking.  I'm the type who needs to see the process - not so much because I need to know what to do (although it's helpful that way, too), but to confirm for myself once I do go for something that my thoughts and feelings are pretty normal.  Otherwise, I tend to think things should be way more difficult or perfect than they really need be. I didn't want to be in the  way, so I took several photos of Rachel working. The backdrops and poses were her creative ideas.  But when I did (pensively) finally join the shoot, I got a couple of shots:       ...which made me think.  Maybe I can do this.
6. So I decided to keep building my portfolio. And this time I'd set up my own shoots and see what happened.  Rachel and I set a date to rent the 50mm 1.2 (nothing like a great lens to inspire confidence).  I asked a couple of (very supportive and photogenic) friends to indulge me in a shoot, with the caveat that it may all turn out to be crap.

And I will pause here, because I just can't stand for one post to be the length of an epic novel.  And frankly, my new motto is Baby Steps.  Okay, that's not really a motto.  It's a cliche.  But its a great excuse to not expect too much of myself all at once.  And the girls are all over me to pay attention to them.  More later...

PS.  If you're looking for some sweeping, glorious end to this story, I'm afraid you might be disappointed.  Part 2 ends with how the shoots went.  I'm out of gas after that. ;)

it started like this

It all started with this picture:

It's my little sister Lora and I.  Nothing spectacular about it.  It was taken in a Shoney's parking lot.  On a very overcast day.  The weekend of my graduation and just a short couple of hours before she boarded a plane to go back to school.  No, it doesn't look especially amazing.  But it was special. 

Because as fate had it, it was the last picture I'd ever take with her.

What stands out to me about this picture, besides it being our last, is that we almost didn't get it.  We'd just finished breakfast, and my out-of-town family (including Lora) was in a bit of a rush to get to the airport.  I don't remember who suggested it or insisted.  I think maybe me.  But we took them.  Pictures of my family.  And this last squishy-sweet one that is so us.

My best friend Ginger and I hopped in a car, Lora in the back seat.  And we scooted her to the airport. I asked if she wanted me to wait with her in the airport (back when you could) but she said "no;" Grandma and Grandpa Hernandez were going to be there.  She wanted to spend a little time waiting with them.  We exchanged a hurried hug and kiss good bye.  I promised to meet up with her to get those matching tattoos when she went on a college singing tour and would be in close-by Kentucky that summer.  One more hug.  And she was gone.

She was killed in a car wreck and taken from us just two weeks later.  That summer is the first that I remember photography and pictures - capturing moments in time that you can't really get back - became important to me.

My mom couldn't believe I was willing to fly a photographer friend to Evyn's first birthday party in Nashville.   But James was deploying to Iraq a second time days after that party.  A particularly dangerous mission.  And for all I knew I wouldn't see him again.  I wanted someone who understood me and my passion for good pictures; who was willing to exhaust himself to capture that trip.  Just in case.

Then James left, and besides me wanting to express myself creatively, photography became about capturing time not just for posterity, but for James.   Half a world away from his baby girl.  A year of her life he would never fully understand or experience or remember.

And now.  Now it's important to me for so many reasons.  And I'm growing and learning and getting better at it every day, thanks to a number of factors I hope to share with you in future posts. 

I'm not the only one.  Who appreciates fantastic pictures.  Who imagines myself ten years down the road flipping through a shoe box or album or coffee table book of images that remind me of the way we were.

 

 

So I've started a little journey.  With the thought that maybe, maybe I can do this for other folks, too. 

to be continued...

brought to you by your local photobooth

A couple of days ago the girls had "school picture day."  A proper photo shoot, complete with overanimated photographer, sky blue backdrop, and live bunnies (okay, that part was kinda fun).  Ashlyn and I decided to kill some time at the mall afterwards.  I hate our mall, but I discovered a hidden gem: a grimy, chipped-laminate overpriced Photo Booth.  Ashlyn saw a seat and buttons and insisted I hop in. 

Ladies, I looked like a hot mess.  But I'm trying to live by my vow to get in the picture more often.  So I stuffed three dollars into the slot and hit the buttons.  Ashlyn was enamored with the voice and lights.  I was horrified by my appearance so I pulled out my Bad Hair & Face Day trick and promptly turned to the side.

Ashlyn held the strips proudly in her hand and showed them to everyone in Best Buy on the way out. 

It was awesome.  And these pictures are classic.  You really should try it.

my budding photographer

Do you ever have those moments that your heart is just beaming with joy watching or thinking about your kids?  I am constantly thinking to myself as I watch them - God must have special plans for you.  Which, if you know me, is instantly terrifying.  To be charged with caring for His special kiddos. 

You may remember we bought Evyn a camera.  And every once in a while I'll hear her snapping away.  It's delightful to watch her.  The other day I walked into the room and caught her trying to capture Gregor - as a true photographer would - at his eye level.

Once she heard the click! of my own camera, she whipped around and promptly took a shot of me:

Later that evening, while the girls were sleeping, we downloaded her pictures...some of them going all the way back to our Christmas vacation.   James and I grinned from ear to ear with every picture - we could just imagine what her little four year-old brain and eye were mulling over as she snapped each shot.

 

Seriously, between the self-portraits and pictures of her sister and pictures of her prized possessions....and over forty pictures detailing this piece she made last year (yes, over forty - she could totally be a blogger!)...

...all I could think was man, is this chick cool or what?  I am so enamored by and full of love for my girls. 

Oh, and that photo she snapped of me?  Priceless.

***
And by the way, in case you care at all-- If you're looking for a fun little camera for your kiddo, this one is easy for toddlers to hold and is hardy.  BUT, I am sorely disappointed in the quality for how much it costs - and it is pretty difficult to actually take the picture that your little tot is aiming for, because it doesn't actually snap the picture until one or two seconds after they've pressed the shutter.  Really, really frustrating.  I can't even take pictures with this thing.  So skip it and wait for a better version to come out.

these are the days

...and I'm loving them, loving them.